my thursday feature: mind your ps & qs. i welcome questions, & try to get the best answers possible for you. etiquette, clothing, household problems - i tackle them all. if i can't answer them for you - i'll find someone who can.

this week's question: earlier this week, a friend approached me with a rather important question, regarding letters of reference. my friend, let's call her sara, was asked by a coworker to write a letter of recommendation, but sara doesn't feel her coworker is right for the position.

should she agree to write the letter, but not tell her coworker that it wouldn't be complimentary? or should she decline the request altogether?

while it might be easiest to simply write an honest (read: potentially snarky) letter, you won't be doing your coworker any favors (& karma's a pain). it's best to sit down with your coworker to ask her a few questions & understand why she is interested in the position. after a bit of time together, you might be able to collectively determine a better position for your coworker, which will appease everyone.

1 comment:

  1. I think she should decline to write the letter. This is what I was taught in HS and college (slightly different but same concept). If a teacher/boss declines to write one, this is the polite way of saying that they don't feel comfortable recommending you.

    I do agree they may want to sit down and make sure they are aware of the situation (depending on how well they know each other)